Happiest place on earth! Where your dreams come true! These have been the phrases linked to Disneyland my whole life. I remember wanting to go as a child. When playing the "have you ever" game at get togethers, not having been was always one thing I could count on to get everyone else. Since having a son, the commercials for Disneyland seemed so magical and wondrous and filled with joy. I will admit to crying at their commercials with happiness that there was such a place on earth. A place for children to be just that, and where adults could re experience the amazement of being a child again. Needless to say, when we were planning the trip, I was brimming with excitement that my family and I could do this together. Then I saw the ticket prices. $100 a person a day?!! Are you kidding me? Okay, that is the price you have to pay for magic I guess. I could only swallow paying for 2 days with the hopper pass to also get into California Adventures. I was torn about this decision, "Is this enough time? Will Josh even do the rides? What if the characters scare him? But what if we don't see/experience everything we want to in 2 days?" I ruminated on these things for days, probably weeks. I asked others for their opinions but in the end it came down to keeping it at two days. I didn't want to tell Josh until we were on our way.
The day came. We all got ready, we told Josh (he barely reacted, nothing like all those commercials), we packed a lunch and...pouring rain. The rain let up a bit and we hemmed and hawed about whether we should go and decided we were an hour behind schedule but we would do it. We waited in line for the shuttle. It filled up right before we got on. Doesn't come for another 15 minutes? Lets walk. We get there but wait, "Did anyone remember the cameras?" Nope. And I am not walking back. We will take pictures on day 2.
Now let me back track a bit. For years I have been told that when we finally do go to Disneyland that we could get special accommodations because Josh is disabled. People have told me to not worry because he will get a special pass to get to the front of the line so we won't have to wait. They gushed about how great it was when they took their children with disabilities. I was counting on this. Because of this pass, I wouldn't have to worry about him in a line and we could see everything we wanted to in two days. We were told to go to City Hall and they would just give us one. Wrong. We got there and they pretty much asked us to prove it. It didn't matter to them that he has brain damage and cerebral palsy. "I see he is wearing leg braces but what is actually the worst thing that could happen to him in line?" Are you kidding me?! I wanted to scream. No offense to those of you who have the "right disabilities" for Disneyland but many of those disabilities are similar to my son's so what makes his not valid? He has both physical and intellectual disabilities and ADHD to boot. He falls often, I have seen him standing with nothing to challenge his balance and suddenly-over he goes. He has yet to beat any 2 year old in a race on stairs and still tends to scoot down them on his bum. He has just as hard time waiting in any line and an extremely difficult time understanding and following directions. I had just had a difficult talk with his teacher not even a week before this day about how he "might" be able to hold down a simple, hand picked, job in the future and how he "might" be able to live in a group home with supervision when he grows up. That he wouldn't be dating or driving in high school. That he still doesn't understand symbols and he isn't even on the level of many preschoolers, that he probably will never read a book. Now tell me again how my son isn't the right kind of disabled to get your special little pass. TELL ME!! Obviously I am angry about this and I hope I am not offending anyone because I do believe those with the "right disabilities" should get that special treatment, I just am mad that my son, with many of the same troubles, doesn't. I know of a few people with fewer physical and the same amount of intellectual disabilities that get this pass immediately no questions asked. I was so shocked I just stood there and mumbled a little. I was not prepared to spout out the worst things about my son in a room of strangers. She gave us a pass that explicitly says he may go through a different entrance to skip stairs on rides with stairs but absolutely is not allowed to get in the front of the line. I was so embarrassed. I am not finding an employee to show this pass to on the rides. He isn't in a wheelchair, I don't need to be judged by any more of these fake Disney employees. We will either hold up the lines or we will carry him on the stairs. Screw you people.
Since this experience, I walked into Disneyland with disgust. Everything is insanely expensive. Now that we have to wait through the whole line, it is beginning to feel like a time game. We have 10 hours to fit in all the rides, all the attractions of Disneyland so the next time we can go to California Adventures. Josh can't keep up between rides, we are either waiting constantly for him to catch up, dragging him, carrying him, or he runs ahead karate chopping plants, screaming, and going in the wrong directions. I am so tired of calling him and redirecting him and we have only been there an hour or two. In line, the only way to keep him in line and happy is letting him punch and kick our hands. We hold them out and he goes crazy. It gets painful and we have to switch off (Tyler took more than his fair share of the hits) or let him take pictures or find other distractions to try to keep him in line. He trips on our feet, his feet, the air; each time I feel more angry that he isn't "special enough" for their stupid pass. Don't get me wrong, the place is beautiful, the details are amazing, the rides were fantastic. It was all the inbetween where I was too angry to see the beauty. This is my fault, I am well aware. In hindsight, I wish I had not been so hurt, things may have been different.
Josh was having a good time. He went on all the rides and loved them. He likes roller coasters but only mild ones. The Matterhorn was one of his favorites. It was one of the first rides we went on and he laughed the entire time. He loves any of the interactive shooting rides (Toy Story and Buzz Lightyear). Tyler always got the most points in those rides but I didn't do too shabby. He liked Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion. He often was the first person to spot the characters and would point them out then stare wide eyed and open mouthed. When we asked if he wanted to meet them he always shook his head slowly and backed away a little. We found that if he began acting yucky, if we fed him something he was cured! WE all liked the Indiana Jones ride. Even though the line was long, there was so much to look at that at one point we said we were almost moving too quickly in the line because we weren't able to explore the fun stuff in the line. Star Tours was the same way, all of the animatronic robots were so fun Josh didn't want to leave the line. Sharon had promised him any baseball style of hat he wanted and he found the most adorable Goofy hat and had to have it. The instant he saw it he started laughing. He put it on and didn't stop laughing until after we left the store. (There will be pictures of the hat from day 2 of Disneyland) We stayed until closing time but we could have kept going for a couple more hours at least. It was great to see the wonder in my son's eyes and the magic reflected in his face. And there were times that I got a glimpse of the magic myself. A small piece of wonder. But I was disappointed to not feel what I felt when I watched the commercials. I I appreciated the details but couldn't feel that childhood wonder. More than likely it was my bad mood since City Hall. I wish I had felt differently. (I know this ends in kind of a bummer way but I promise the next Disney trip ends better)
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