My last day of school

Wow.  Here I am in the commons area of a building I have been coming to almost every day since August 2011.  It feels weird to know that after today I will rarely be coming here.  I have spent most of that time with the same 29 people and 10ish professors.  I thought that today would be full of excitement and joy to know that I wont' have to write another paper but I can't help but think about the people I will miss and the scary new world that awaits.  I still have another 12 week internship and then the board exams but after that...having a real career is intimidating.

I have spent what feels like my whole life semester to semester; every 6 months to a year what I am doing changes completely.  Many semesters I have gotten through by saying, "It is only 16 weeks.  You can do anything for 16 weeks.  They could torture you for 16 weeks and as long as you knew the end date you could take it."  There is no end date now.  I think that is the most scary part.  There is no summer break, winter break, fall break or spring break.  I won't get that time off to finally clean my  room again (yes, it is literally the only time I actually clean my room, don't judge me), spend time with Josh, see friends, and get to that thing that I have been meaning to do.

I don't know when it happened, but school has become my comfort zone.  I may not welcome papers, projects, presentations, and busy work but I know it so well.  I can pump out a professional 5-10 page research paper every week and although I may complain it doesn't break me.  Some time I became one of those people who reads professional studies and articles and actually understands what is going on without falling asleep.  I remember how difficult this was my first semester.  I have learned to sleep on almost any bus any time of day and still wake up for my stop.  I know how to get around SLC and Ogden (to a degree) using public transportation.  I have, through some miracle, learned to study on the bus without getting car sick.  In fact, I am more likely to get sick if I am NOT studying.

And here it is, the end.  I have had two faculty members state that they won't get too upset about me leaving because they think I will be around, working for the school, working across the street at the clinic the professors run, or coming back for my doctorate.  Even that is a little intimidating!  But I made it through the day and the past 2 1/2 years and I suppose I will continue to make it through.