Joshua 5.5

My sweet little Josh is already 5 1/2. I can't believe it! He LOVES superheroes. Every weekend he insists on dressing up like Batman, or some sort of Batman hybrid (Batman Buzz, Batman Thor, Batman Superman, or Batman Wolverine or even a tri-fecta of these characters). He wears this get up all day long. He wears it to go to the store, to pizza night, to clean the house, EVERYWHERE. When we go out to stores he gets all sorts of comments. It is amazing how many little kids say things like, "Look Mom! Spiderman!"....uh....apparently your child is not as nuts about superheroes as mine. Josh loves it though, he spends the whole time jumping and leaping as he does karate moves down the aisles. I have to try to keep the kill-shot shrieks to a minimum but there is no shortage of growls and "hi-ya"s. He sees all the other shoppers as potential targets/threats/possible allies. Sometimes an adult will play along, "Holy cow! There's Batman!" (to which he beams) or they may pretend to fight him for a minute. Some old ladies pretend to be afraid...or they really are...it is hard to tell. Interestingly, I have not had one person tell me to "keep him in line" or anything even close to that. This is weird because when he is not dressed up and makes similar types of noises, old people try to calm him down. Old people. They are so strange. If Josh gets in trouble at a store he has to sit in the cart. This makes him furious and he will scream his anger to the world. Old people just can't take it, and they have two distinct ways of showing this. The "stern way": they approach my son and scold him for me, "You can't yell like that in a store!" "You are hurting my ears!" "Stop that yelling". Or the "nice way": "Hello there little boy!" "Why are you so upset?" or they make a silly face or pull a funny trick or offer him candy. His reaction? Screaming directly into their faces and possibly clenching his fists with a crazy "can't you see I'm about to throw some punches" face. Now I am sure you see my dilemma. Yes I am out in public, yes screaming is not really an acceptable public act, but my child cannot verbalize how he feels any other way. Besides, I can only get out to the store about once a week so there is almost no way I am abandoning my quest. So I let him scream. After he has gotten it out, I can redirect him...usually. But I have to stick to my guns. If he misbehaves, he goes in the cart, sorry old people, I know this thoroughly maddens you. I know you are old and have raised 5 billion kids but you haven't raised my kid. But back to the original topic. He will spend the ride home shooting his toy gun or swinging his toy sword/Thor hammer at fellow travelers and screaming. I have had to convince him to leave the weapons in the car because if he is that crazy without them...well, you can imagine the mayhem. Come to think of it, he gets in less trouble when he is wearing his costumes in the store because people find his craziness cute, that and when he starts to get too far away I have him come back to "protect me" which he loves. Of course this brings on a new round of shadow boxing with the people closest to me. I don't know how long people will find this cute (a year? Two?) I don't really care. He can go to the store as a superhero for as long as he wants.

Better Together

When we were dating, I told Tyler that I had never had a "song" before. A few days later he told me he wanted me to hear something. He played me a song I don't think I had ever heard before. To this day I think he couldn't have made a better choice: Better Together by Jack Johnson.


"It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together"

In 6 years we have been through...well, we have been through so much. So much. And every time something goes wrong, I can't help but think, "It's always better when we're together". I don't know how I would have made it through everything with my son and school without my wonderful Tyler. He is my rock, my safe place. I know no matter what, he will be there and help me through. I don't have to be someone else, he loves me even though he knows me better than anyone else.

For our 6th anniversary, we spent the weekend in SLC....sick. We both ended up getting the flu (not the stomach kind thank goodness). We spent most of the weekend in pain (for sicker eh?) and you know what? It was still a good time. There is no one I would rather be sick with. I love that man.

It really is always better when we are together.

People are basically good

If you didn't know, we have had a really tough time getting Josh a communication device. The end result has been a lot of anger, frustration, and right now all we can get is an ipad with an app (only because no one can stop us from buying it)

Luckily, or perhaps not as much luck but because of wonderful people, Josh had an ipad donated by Christmas Tree Jubilee. I had many concerned friends and even acquaintances who gave advice on cases to best protect it. The winner:

http://images.bestbuy.com/BestBuy_US/en_US/images/abn/2011/com/pcon/survivor/survivor2.swf

Pretty amazing stuff if you ask me. Besides, Tyler's aunt and uncle bought it for us. So now just the app! The one we are looking at is almost $200. My visiting teacher came over this morning with $100 from some friends in the ward to go toward the app. Because of these wonderful people, my son will get in 2 weeks what the insurance couldn't get for him for months if at all.

I can't wait to tell you guys about how much he loves it. I am so excited that he will have a voice. Not with the help of therapists and insurance companies but because of everyday people who want to help a little boy.

Christmas pictures, better late than never.

....And I seem to be having trouble with this so you get pictures with no captions! They are rather self explanatory anyway.

Zach Anner

So I was browsing other people's blogs today when I came across one for Zach Anner, a contestant on Oprah's-something-or-other to win a TV show. Sadly, I have been unable to keep up with Oprah since going back to school so although I had seen him once before, it was too late to vote for him. I began to watch all of his stuff online which you can watch here http://www.youtube.com/user/ZachAnner (for some reason I can't make it a link)

He is hilarious, handsome, and wonderful. If you have time, you need to watch his stuff. And not just the Oprah stuff, the Austin stuff is great too.

I only wish he was still posting things. I think it is important for the world to understand that a person is a person, no matter how different. One of the moms whose blog I follow said this about her son, "His personality is not disabled". And I find that so true. When people take the time to get to know my son they say something to the effect of, Wow! He is so amazing. I can't believe he has cerebral palsy. I would have never known! Well, hello, the signs are all there. The problem is how we all think of what disabilities "look like" and what a person "is" when they have a disability.

I love this guy. I think you will too.

I 'yam what I 'yam because of 'yAmber

I love Christmas. Of course my mother always made Christmas fun when I was a kid. If you know my mom you know it is true. We made ornaments, and candy, cookies (don't forget to decorate them!), fudge, reading all the stories and watching the movies, we saw the lights, decorated gingerbread houses, EVERYTHING!

But I have to say, that Christmas is what it is to me because of my sister Amber. The Christmas after I got my first job, we decided to combine our money with our brother, and buy presents for everyone in the family. And not just one present, but 3 presents per family member (which if you recall is quite a feat since there are so many of us).

For at least a month, we would all go shopping together. Amber would blast the Christmas music and we would all sing (mostly badly). Snow? 1,000,000 shoppers? No problem. We made an effort to say "Merry Christmas" to everyone we made contact with. We welcomed the crowds and the lines. That made it all the more special when we got the perfect gift. We made sure that we had money to give to every bell ringer and a smile for anyone out that day.

We would laugh as we wrapped presents and then (at least what seemed like many nights) she would read Christmas stories of giving, love, and family out loud to us. Most years, we would give to Sub for Santa too.

Christmas was always a time of laughter, love, giving, some crying (you know stuff like that "Christmas shoes" song get you too), and fun. Now my sweet sister lives many states away but this time of year will always make me think of those times and how they have shaped Christmas for me. It will always feel like a time of giving (even without money), a time of family (even when they move away), and a time of love. Thanks Amber.

Surgery

Wednesday Josh had a gastroc soleal fascia release. Essentially, there is a tough membrane (fascia) around all of your muscles, the surgeon goes in and cuts the fascia around his calf muscles. The idea is that will release some of the tension on his muscles and he will be able to flex his foot (toes to the ceiling), which he has been unable to do for some time now.

We went to the hospital with plenty of time. All was going well. The waiting rooms are filled with fun toys so waiting is never a big concern.

The nurse wanted to know if Josh has a problem with anxiety or if he has a problem being taken into surgery without me. Uh, yes, he will probably kick and scream if past experiences can predict future ones. So they recommended Versed, an anti anxiety medication that will help him relax. "About 5 minutes after we give it to him he will become clumsy, he will have trouble walking or doing any coordinated movement (sounds like the usual) so you will have to hold him." No big deal, sure!

They give it to him. 5 minutes later, a very different child appears. He becomes restless, no more than restless, he becomes manic. He is flinging his arms around and trying to JUMP off my lap. It is everything I can do to just hold onto the kid. A very different boy than they told me to expect. Oh and this is fabulous, I just googled it to make sure I spelled it right and under side effects it says:

Some side effects can be serious. If your child experiences any of these symptoms, call his or her doctor immediately:

agitation

restlessness

uncontrollable shaking of a part of the body

stiffening and jerking of the arms and legs

aggression

slow or irregular heartbeat

Great. Well, I suppose it is a good thing the doctor was right there. Maybe that is why they took him away so fast....

Anyway, Josh did really well. He woke up and was kind of upset but alright after some pain meds, mom cuddles, and some cartoons. We got to come home on Wednesday.

He is doing awesome! He is happy for the most part and is good about taking his medicine even though he tells me it smells and tastes bad. He is a lucky little boy. My mom has brought fun projects for him to do every day. She has brought stamps, paints and ornaments to decorate, cookies along with frosting, sprinkles, and chocolate chips, and other great things. He has been loving it (which is great because with finals coming up, I try to study a lot of the day and I am not so fun).

The doctor said to wait a few days before putting weight on it but let him move at his own pace and he will walk when he wants to. Right now he is crawling around the room playing with toys and coloring in his new coloring books. I am slightly worried that he may try to pull a "I don't need to walk, I will just crawl until I get this thing off" (that is just the kind of kid he is, if it hurts and seems like trouble, I can make do doing something else type) but I will hold out hope and try to encourage some weight bearing this weekend.